Sept 9, 2020

Well, had you told me in March that I’d still be working from home in September, I woulda said you cray cray. But here I am. Still home. Still working and I am grateful. I am grateful for so much.

I know no one that has been affected by COVID 19. Though I do believe that people in my life were affected in November & December of 2019. That’s what I think. And I am grateful that I can still think my own thoughts.

I am grateful that I am not homeschooling children. I am grateful for my health & for the health of my family & friends. I am grateful for tequila. I am grateful for my hubby’s margaritas- they are stunningly delicious!

I am grateful for family that have reach out and to be honest, I can count on one hand how many have. I’m not keeping count, but it is surprising.

August 19, 2020

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined “still” working at home in August.  I left the office in mid March. I am a different from the person I was in March, as many of us are. Everything is different. Everything is the same but better.

 

June 2, 2020

What the hell is happening to the United States. Gotta go back in history to somewhy try to comprehend what the hell is propelling all the violence, the hate and bullshit.

Pretty sure, if business owners display a gun, I am thinking we’d not have looting. Easy for me to say as I sit in a comfy and safe home.

April 30, 2020

I don’t know what to say.  I am perplexed by the world today. We’re in the midst of a pandemic. I was definitely in shock initially. Now, I am frightened. I am frightened for myself, my family and my friends and for all the animals & humans in the world. It is truly a scary time.

I don’t want to walk around with a mask on, though that is my reality.

Each week goes by, with another camping trip cancelled. Yoga trainings went virtual. I don’t want virtual. And I am so tired of the political in-fighting.

April 16, 2020

No one knows. Like seriously, no one knows what the hell is going on. That’s realization that had dawned on me.

I’ve been quarantined and working from home for 23 days. My sister made me & the hubby face masks. I see people outside walking, people & dogs I’ve not seen before. I’ll never forget that first day after being shut-in for a week straight. It was like after the apocalypse as I gently walked myself outside. It felt good, clean and refreshing.

The thing I’ve noticed is that the streets are empty and the gas is cheap. That might sound like a sad country song, but that how it is right now.  People stay away and God forbid you cough or sneeze will give you more sneers than you could ever imagine.

The grocery stores are full of weary people quickly getting in to get groceries and getting out. Some are wearing masks, some are not. I wore a mask and I noticed that I missed seeing smiles. People stared. People also avoided eye contact.  Paper products were replenished in aisle 10, for the first time in weeks.

Easter was weird. These times we’re in are weird. Everything is weird. And it’s getting weirder.

I am working at home in a makeshift desk set up. It’s not ideal, but it works. I thought I’d like to work from home but there are disadvantages. And when there is finally a schedule to adhere to go back into the office, oh, that’s going to be tough. Ugh. I am already dreading losing the freedom. And I realize my freedoms are already lost.  *sigh*

I’ve not written in a while and I thought yeah I should write (or type!) cause maybe that will help get all these odd thoughts out of my head.

Due to COVID19, I have been working from my ‘hastily thrown together home office’ since March 23rd and I just finished up the third week of my new insanity, ahem reality. Having work policies change on a near-daily, to a damn near hourly basis, truly brought me to my knees some days. Ugh. This is uncharted territory for all- yes kids come & get some of this! I was thrilled. Not.

And just like that, I thought is this God’s way of bringing me to a challenge to see how’d I do? I have been thinking about working 4 day work weeks. That is now my reality. I had often toyed with the idea of working from home but I thought Nah, I like seeing and talking to people in person. What I’ve learned is that I like seeing people and talking with people in person. And hugs. And great conversations where I can genuinely gauge the other person’s reactions.

I thought well, this is a great way to see if this is something I can do or would want to pursue. It took a while to get accustomed to my new work-life setup. It took to literally week 3 to get into my groove, honestly. The first week was ok. The second week I hit a wall. I could not focus, I was distracted and derailed at every turn. I screamed and I cried at sheer frustration. My hubby joined me in week 2 so that may have played into the chaos. Week 3 simply sailed along. And I was ok.

What I see in my new view are people walking around the neighborhood that I’ve never seen before with doggies I’d not seen or perhaps didn’t noticed before.  I see more people outside, enjoying strolls and the beauty that surrounds us.

My ‘outside of the house’ life consists of going to the grocery store and coming home.  The grocery store is kinda terrifying.  People are wearing masks and gloves. I had seen people wearing masks & gloves on TV whilst in foreign countries for years. But here, in the good ole USA?  Us? We wear masks & gloves? That’s not us, I thought. It is now, apparently. If this is going to be the new trend, I will need to get a matching mask wardrobe. Just sayin.

And I wonder why is this happening? Why are we locked down to our homes? Is it some worldly wonder that thought they’d fuck with us and see how we do? I remember being part of a ‘pandemic’ committee at a previous employer. It was set up, organized, and mock tested but completely fell apart when the committee leader left that employer. And here we are in a real-life pandemic and they are scrambling. I guess they did ok. It didn’t affect me. Or did it?

I’ve read that the environment is healing. Did someone pray for the world to slow down yet it went as far as to shut down instead? Sorry, planet Earth is closed. Was this some ruse to get me to slow the hell down and write. There I go again, thinking about myself. Who knows. And that is a concern, no one really knows anything definitely.  That is probably the most frightening thing of all this. No one knows. It’s unprecedented. I need to go get a margarita, I’ll be right back.

But seriously folks, since March 23rd, I’ve read a book. Yes, a whole book that I have never read before within a week no less. I haven’t done that since at least 2014. I’ve been ‘stuck’ in my Outlander phase. Reading, re-reading each book before and during the cable series run.

My take away from all this is that God wants us to slow the hell down, to forgive, to practice thankfulness, to learn to cherish all that is holy (think minimalism).  And perhaps he wants you to write. Do what makes you happy, do what soothes your soul, whatever that might be. Meditate, yoga, read, walk. Be grateful for your good health, your family, your friends, and your life.

What God doesn’t want is for us to be anxious or fearful.  He’s got this, folks. Lead by faith, not by fear. And we’re gonna be alright. That’s my mantra and I am sticking with it.

 

 

 

So, I am still in the throes of Yoga Teacher Training. It IS 200 hours of intense reading, history, anatomy, asanas and learning the art of yoga. It is also more so learning about yourself, what you are capable of, what you, alone can do. It’s also teamwork. Taking 17 people who all signed up for the same adventure and seeing where this goes.  As of December 1st, 2 have dropped and we’re down to 15.

Back in September, we had our first 4 days intensive.  They call it intensive because a whole lot of information is crammed into 4 days.  It was intense. By the second day, I was ready to hang up my yoga mat for good. But I went back and it’s been quite the journey.  There was another intensive in early November. That was a much better process as I kind of knew what to expect, I felt prepared somewhat.

What I didn’t expect is to be such a novice, not knowing many poses. I didn’t expect to not have teacher support. I paid good, hard-earned money to go to the Yoga School and learned that the instructors have a closed-door policy. That, itself, was tough to take. Anything we wanted to know, we had to email the instructor. Despite this, I am doing the best I can.

I know myself. I know that if I really want something I will practice and I will attain it. My passion for yoga has waned during this process of trying to be a teacher. I have found myself needing to decompress a lot and to get away from all things yoga. Perhaps it’s because it was so much crammed into days, maybe the closed off teachers, maybe it’s you gotta learn it on your own mentality that has driven me away. I am not sure, to be honest, I don’t find the studio owner to be personable.  She’s brash, harsh and unfortunately interrupts the class flow.  It is unnerving.

So if I were to give advice to someone wanting to go to YTT?  Definitely six months to a year’s consistent practice (3 x a week or more) under your belt. Research your yoga school, look at reviews, costs, location, time invested, how much time is invested out of the classroom, refund policy. How is the syllabus set up, is there an agenda, do you know what’s happening beforehand? How do the instructors communicate? Get to know the owner and instructors and how are you graded? What are the expectations?

Stay tuned, I am sure I’ll have more to say in the coming days/weeks.

 

 

I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training in early summer for the Fall session. I am apprehensive & excited at the same time. I often wonder what the heck I am doing or why I signed up.  I’ve wanted to do this for some time, and the timing was perfect so here I am.

Well, I am following my heart is what I am doing. I randomly wonder where this will take me.  The journey! Oh what a journey this will be.  I have had the first orientation and lots of homework assigned.  Anatomy, philosophy oh my!!  I’ll keep you posted…….

I am still working at the same place 6 months later and it’s been interesting and unlike anything I’ve ever done before.   My favorite part is that when I walk out the door, the work stays behind me and there’s no following me home. Now, I do share some of the adventures with my hubby but it’s not complaining as much ‘oh my can you believe it’ scenarios.  I still think there is room for tons of improvement and am making strides to make that happen.  Initially when I came on board, there was no excitement about changes but I did get to share my creativity with my co-workers so that was fun.

I don’t make much money but I do have health & life insurance.  I do live close by – enough to go home every day for lunch. And I don’t have the mind boggling stress that I had before. So I have everything I prayed for once I started looking for my place in the world. I believe God sent me here for a reason. Yes I prayed for everything I have now. I am grateful. So grateful for this opportunity to help a great cause and make a difference.

The next big thing is the move to the a new state building in Havre de Grace. It is still close to my home. Looking forward to it and the changes it brings.

If the stress at your work is making you miserable & grumpy like me, if you can find another avenue. The jobs are out there and they are hiring just about everywhere!

Life is too short to NOT do something  that brings you joy.

 

 

It was a pretty first day of spring when I started my new adventure. First I went to the headquarters to meet with Human Resources to sign a bunch of papers. Afterward, I headed to the WAGE Connect to see my new place of employment. I walked through the main entrance and immediately was met with a metal detector. My initial thought was why do they need a metal detector here. I was quite naive apparently. I quickly learned that this is a State of Maryland facility and SWN staff are contracted to the state. My job was to do the administrative/clerical work for SWN. There are also State of Maryland DSS case workers, the Health Department and Harford Community College in this same building.

So, I’ve been with this job for 3 months and it is perfect. It can be a bit stressful at times but nothing like I’ve dealt with in the past.  Every job has stress, that’s what I’ve learned.  I like the team I work with and we work well together.  What I like best is that when I walk out the door, I don’t think about my job. I also enjoy the creativity is allows.  I do not agree with how some things are done but I have adjusted and accepted that my team knows best and most likely there’s a reason for everything.